Dopamine Fast

Recently I haven’t really been working on a video much and spent a lot of time experimenting with mayonnaise for a school experiment. I also went for events and talked to many people on Instagram. Then I started scrolling Instagram more and I think it eventually overloaded me that I couldn’t feel pleasure or excitement about making videos anymore. That’s not a good state to be in, I know, so I started looking for solutions.

I tried exercising more again as I haven’t been doing so consistently as before (last time I used to go for a jog 2-3 times a week). Now after restarting my exercise routine, it really did help me feel good again because I force myself through uncomfortable, physically stressful situations of doing 40 pushups a minute (recently I hit a high of 55 which I never thought I could), sit up for 45 counts under a minute, and then running for 15 minutes. Those minutes are the longest I’ve ever felt compared to scrolling on Instagram and YouTube because exercising is one of the most uncomfortable things to put your body through compared to mental stimulation of the screen while sitting comfortably. But it didn’t take just one exercise session to cure my mental numbness. I went for long walks, walking from the mall back home that took about 40 minutes when I normally would cycle for 15 minutes. It’s really slowing down and trying to feel what it’s like to work again (because I haven’t been working out much).

I was invited to a big party at my Indian neighbour’s home and there were a lot of people coming, so much so that they had to split the party into an afternoon and evening session. There was a buffet station along the corridor and what was normally grey concrete was then filled with shoes and slippers. Normally I would be delighted to get to know so many people and learn from their experiences, but I only managed to talk to a few people and left shortly thereafter. Went back into my room in the afternoon and just laid in my bed to rest as I wasn’t interested to do anything, not even watching or doing videos anymore. It was actually a pity because it’s the first time my neighbour threw such a big party and I could learn so much from Indian people whom I hardly interact with. But anyway, I wasn’t feeling well enough yet.

I also tried to take small simple actions that I could feel proud of doing, like I was trying to do a video about beef short ribs. I dragged myself to Tekka market to the best looking beef store (Joe's Butchery) and was dismayed to find small thin beef ribs at $15/kg. I asked a butcher guy if they got something bigger, and they offered me a slightly bigger rack of meat from Brazil at $20/kg. It still wasn’t as big as I saw on videos, and I think he could tell from my face that I was about to leave, when he offered me US ribs. Lo and behold, he took out a huge rack that was 3 times as big as the Brazil one and that looks more like it. It was frozen though but the price was like $55/kg, which I checked on the internet it probably costs like $8 USD per pound or around $20-$25 SGD. Quite a premium to pay for shipping that across the world and probably for Trump’s tariffs too.

So I bought it and went home to try to make it, following Fallow’s beef short ribs video but using Asian ingredients. It didn’t turn out the way I hoped it would, as the sauce was too dark and not red in colour, and it wasn’t fork tender either so maybe I should braise it at a lower temperature. But after I did that video shoot, I felt a lot better like I could make another one again to try and be better. It felt like a curse has been lifted and I could feel excited about making videos again.

What I learnt from this experience is that I think there needs to be a minimum level of excitement before I could actually get a video done across multiple struggle points to the finishing line of upload. Second, it took about a month of laziness and bumming around on social media to become desensitised to dopamine. I might argue that in that state, I could make better videos that are so good that it could still stimulate me and others. But I think it’s an awful disservice to people and I don’t want others to go through this bad experience. So now that my sense of excitement to work on videos is back, I have to be more aware of lull periods that should not exceed a month, because this experience has proven that already. At the 2 weeks mark should be a warning sign that I must stop social media for a week, start exercising every alternate day again, and go back to the dinosaur stone age of analog reading and writing to feel human again.

To YouTube’s credit, I got recommended to watch this video which popped up in my feed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXHJosUhqBM

Watching this felt like 10 therapy sessions in a video. It dawned on me that my curiosity system is what actually drives me to make videos, because often in my videos, I script it out with experiments that I have no idea how it would turn out, and so I actually want to film those moments to discover what actually happens or how it looks, like cross section rice grains, any taste differences between various methods of cooking rice etc.

Olga explained in her video that that curiosity system has always been used by creatives and scientists to drive their research, to do experiment after experiment, to try again and again to find that one thing they’re looking for. But when that curiosity system gets overused in social media, we keep watching short videos again and again that satisfies our curiosity so quickly and easily that we want more and more, until it reaches a state of addiction, and then numbness to everything else. It’s like eating so much dessert and sweet sugary things, that we don’t eat vegetables or rice anymore and only want more sweet things. So the solution Olga proposed is simple. Go on a fast, no social media, exercise more, and do small simple goals to reconnect the original curiosity system that brought us here in the first place. Highly recommended a watch for this specific intention if you’re struggling with feeling excitement again in life. Then go do something about it.

One last point I learnt before I go is that views are not everything anymore then. Having been through this experience, I actually don’t want views from people who are in a state of overstimulation. From the beginning, I’ve always been grateful for any number of views on my works. Whether it be 10 views or 100 views or 100,000 views, I always imagine a room of those people or a lecture hall or a stadium of real people engaging with the content. I actually want real human connection over media and I think that’s the point of social media. It’s to socialise with people on the internet over videos, articles, or whatever form of media. I would still use techniques like curiosity hooks and nice visuals to present my work, but the purpose is to not get more views, but rather to interact more meaningfully with people and present my work clearly.

I’m grateful to have learnt these things and I could share them with you today.